Adaptive Leadership: What I Learned from Rugby & the US Air Force

Over the last week or so, I've been reminiscing about my time in the military and some of the leadership lessons that truly shaped my approach. In my latest video, I share a personal story about my time in the United States Air Force and, specifically, my experience playing for the United States Combined Service Rugby Team. This experience taught me invaluable lessons about adaptive leadership and communication.

Setting the Stage: A Young Airman in a New Environment

At 21, I was an enlisted Airman in the United States Air Force, and I'd just been selected as a reserve player for the United States Combined Service Rugby Team. This team was a blend of the best rugby players from all military branches, creating a super team of sorts. It was an incredible honor and a humbling personal achievement, but it was also an intimidating situation. I found myself surrounded by highly educated officers, many of whom had attended top military academies and held elevated leadership roles.

To add to the pressure, I was fresh out of a not-so-stellar college experience. Let's just say my focus was more on bars and rugby than on attending classes, and it showed. I was scared and insecure, constantly wondering if I deserved to be there.

Facing Intimidation and Adversity

One of the team captains played my position and was significantly more experienced. His leadership style was old-school: aggressive, critical, and rarely encouraging. His approach was demoralizing for many players, leading to either over-aggressiveness and mistakes or demotivation and more errors. This environment forced me to confront my insecurities and question whether I truly belonged.

A Mentor's Influence and a Game-Changing Book

During this time, a mentor of mine, an officer in the United States Air Force, gave me a book titled "Developing the Leader Within You" by John Maxwell. This was the first leadership book I ever read, and it was transformative. Maxwell emphasized that leadership isn't about control or authority but about gaining and expanding influence. The book taught me the importance of listening, establishing trust, motivating others, providing constructive feedback, and, crucially, adapting my leadership style to different situations.

The Power of Adaptive Leadership

Over the next year, I spent my time observing and learning from my teammates. I noticed that individuals from different military branches responded differently to various communication styles. A lot of Army and Marine players thrived on direct, assertive feedback, while Air Force and Navy players preferred more positive reinforcement and detailed explanations. This realization was a breakthrough for me and marked my introduction to the concept of "adaptive leadership".

Applying Adaptive Leadership on the Field

My opportunity to play came when the veteran Army captain, who was ahead of me, suffered a severe injury. I was ready. Utilizing the communication techniques I'd learned, I quickly gained recognition as a leader. My adaptive approach was well-received and I was named a team captain on multiple occasions throughout the remainder of my playing career in the military.

Reflecting on the Experience

This experience taught me the critical importance of adapting my leadership approach to meet the unique needs of my team members. Developing adaptive leadership skills has profoundly impacted my professional career. These skills—awareness and the ability to adjust leadership styles—are essential for any leader's success. They can't be learned overnight but require practice and a supportive environment.

The Role of a Mentor in Leadership Development

I was fortunate to have a mentor who invested time and energy into my development at a young age. This experience inspired me to become a leadership coach and help others develop the skills that have been pivotal in my own career.

If you're a leader who feels that you could benefit from personalized leadership coaching, I encourage you to click the link and schedule a free call with me. It's a no-pressure conversation about your leadership goals and challenges and whether it makes sense for us to work together.